It’s safe to assume that the USADA representative who showed up on Friday to collect Diaz’s many liters of urine in preparation for UFC 279 felt the less-than-ideal circumstance he stepped into was at least possible.
“This man won’t get out of my house because I didn’t give him enough piss,” Diaz said.
“I’ve pissed all I can. How many liters do I have to do? … I’ve got two more liters of piss I’ve got to give him. He won’t get out of here until. DK is my guy, but USADA can f*cking suck a d*ck. Come back in six hours, I’ll give you two more liters. Sorry, DK.”
According to the reports, DK was the USADA collector’s name, and he handled the situation with grace. He tried to use his iPad as a shield while ducking in and out of the camera’s frame.
For the life of me, I can’t decide if Diaz is a friend or foe to a USADA sample collector. To deal with Diaz in person might add a bit of drama to the situation. From where I sit, it seems like a job full of awkward and unpleasant activities, so I can imagine that this helps break up the monotony. While Diaz may play hard to get at first, he will eventually come around and accept you as “my guy” if you treat him with enough deference.
Conversely, he’ll show your face to the world while talking about how you want to “claim” his urine and blowing clouds of smoke everywhere. That appears to be quite challenging.